From Friends to Family and Beyond

Friends.
They make your life complete. Because you have welcomed them into your family.
They share in the fun with you. Because there is much fun to be had AND no need to be sad.
They are your shoulder on which to cry. Because you can laugh so hard that it brings tears to your eyes.
They are sometimes the only ones who can tell you the truth. Because they know a true friend doesn't lie.
Those are my friends at least.

I have been thinking about, and even living, a lot of revelations about friendships lately-especially my own. This topic has come up as a high point of discussion in many hangouts and phone conversations in the past month or so. From my "research" I have concluded that a lot of people really depend on their friendships so much so that they cannot make it through the day without their friends. Some more than others, and some probably too much. This conclusion seems so obvious, but I'm actually surprised at how little God and his role in our friendships came up in these conversations.

God puts people in our lives for a reason. Whether we are willing to admit it or not, I feel like people we have genuine relationships (that are laced with the foundation of Christ) with are kind of like God's way of sending us glimmers of him that we can physically see- just another reminder that He is always with us. I love all of those corny quotes about friends being angels...because they are! But more importantly, we must remember that God is our one true friend!

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

I do not like to have acquaintances. It's friends or not friends all the way. And I'm fine with not being friends with everyone. Not only would that be a lot of work if I literally had every friend in the world but I don't feel like those people would be able to know the real me. I would probably have to put on some sort of show in order to be friends with every person in the world. Maybe you don't feel that way, but friends or not is totally fine with me.

Keeping up with long distance friendships over a long period of time is something I find as a challenge that I always like to conquer. Might I add that I'm also VERY good at it. I moved from Dallas almost 10 years ago, and I am still very close with 3 of my friends there. I have kept up with a good 10 of my close friends from college-the ones that mattered right?! I still talk to too many people from high school that I can't even count, but I am actually closer with a few people even though 95% of our time over the past 4 years has been spent in cities at least 3 hours away from each other. However, it is a little saddening to know that it's because of my efforts and actions that some of us are still speaking. The question still remains in my mind as to why some people put more effort into friendships than others. It may not be because I care more than they do, or I need them in my life more than they need me in theirs. I believe I want to continue these relationships for a few reasons: (a) if I've invested so much time into something, then I have a hard time letting go of it (b) friends are there for a mutual benefit-I help you, you help me so this one way street won't work (c) I try to think of a 'goodbye' more as a 'see ya later' for my own comfort. I was telling a friend the other day that it will probably annoy them at how good I'll be at keeping up with our long distance friendship...not because I'll be calling or texting them daily, but because they will be frustrated at how good I'll be at keeping up with them but they probably won't be as good at keeping up with me.

I'm sure everyone has at least one friend that falls into the "no-matter-how-rare-we-speak-to-or-see-each-other-we-pick-up-right-where-we-left-off" category. Those are fun right?! But it may be time to take another look at these friendships. In my opinion a genuine friendship includes more than just telling each other what time you woke up, what cereal you ate for breakfast, how many aches and pains you have, when you took a nap, and what you bought at the mall yesterday. It really is being able to lift each other up in the Lord to allow us to serve Him so we can spread the news of how he came to save us! And I have to constantly keep in mine that my friendship with one person is completely different and separate from someone else's friendship with them. So if all you do is call your far-away friend and tell them what you've been doing for the past 30 days...you know what to do. A big group of my friends have recently developed more intense and genuine (I believe!) friendships. We have been able to encourage each other, see each other grow in the Lord, laugh with each other (and at each other sometimes...), help when we are hurting, appreciate our differences, keep one another accountable, and allow each other to serve using our strengths and spiritual gifts. WOW! I have been completely amazed at how well the group has bonded, and especially upon a foundation of what actually matters in life. It is truly a blessing to be able to serve the Lord with my friends AND so joyfully! While we do care about what each of us has been up to, I find it extremely refreshing that more importantly we want to know how God is working in each others lives, what we are struggling with, and how we can be there for each other. I truly believe that I would do anything for any of these friends, and I hope they feel the same way about me. It is because of them that I have taken the opportunity to evaluate and strengthen some of my other friendships and remove any qualms I may have had about outwardly expressing and specifically stating the joy that Christ brings to my life.

I'd also like to note that this group of friends is coed, and it's encouraging to see guys break down their walls and burst through their shells and share what is happening in their lives and see their hearts yearn for the Lord. This doesn't happen often, so I really see God working in our group to give us the chance to develop each other. Another topic that has recently come up in discussion is guy/girl friendships...that deserves a complete dissertation. But you know what? I don't think anyone could come to any REAL conclusions about it. My general statement in a few short sentences is that all people are different, so our relationships with others are completely different from one another. I do think it's possible for guy/girl friendships to exist in friendship form only-but it does take work! While "more-than-friendship-feelings" may have once existed from one party or the other, it is possible to move past that and onto a genuine friendship-and I must again add-WITH WORK. I don't want to go on another tangent, so that's it!

All in all, I am very excited about my new friendships, renewing and strengthening some old friendships, and meeting new friends in the future! And making them all a big part of my family!

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

"No man is a failure who has friends." -It's a Wonderful Life

Lastly, I want to leave you with some great songs about friendships...have a listen!
What a Friend We Have in Jesus- Hymnal
You've Got a Friend in Me- Randy Newman (Toy Story theme song)
A Day Late- Anberlin
I'll be There For you- The Rembrandts ("Friends" theme song)
Friends- Michael W. Smith
Thank You for Being a Friend- Andrew Gold ("Golden Girls" theme song)
Where You Lead- Carole King ("Gilmore Girls theme song)
I am Understood?- Relient K
Just Friends- Gavin DeGraw